July is always a horrid month for me and mine.
Too many anniversaries bring feelings full of loss and despair for most of the month.
This month, in the midst of sadness, I have moved out of my shared accommodation and into my own place.
This month is bringing with it a reminder of what being free is, of what it feels like to be a strong and independent woman and an acknowledgement of who I am.
I am allowing myself to be sad but trying to pull myself out of wallowing. To see this month as something other than awful.
It is with this thought in mind that I wonder what next July will bring.
Perhaps, it is time to move past sadness and look for a way to celebrate…
For May – I found that I wanted to become less self-confined and eat at least one main meal at the kitchen table (with or without others).
This has been a hard habit to break and although I started off well and was eating 2 meals a day in my shared kitchen, I have since reduced it to 1 meal a day.
I have a sense of disappointment in myself for not sitting at the table. What difference does it make if I sit at the kitchen table or the desk in my room…? My anxiety says it makes a big difference.
This month I remind myself that even small changes make a difference and that I am still eating in the shared kitchen – even if it is only briefly.
Almost halfway through the year now. Crazy how that happens!
April was meant to be my ‘drink more water and cut down on chocolate’ month…
I started off relatively well, I was drinking more water than I have ever known myself drink. I also managed to cut down on my chocolate intake to 1 bar every other day instead of 2+ bars a day (small bars).
Then Easter break happened and I came back to my mum’s. The cupboards are full of treats and so much food that I have had to stuff myself full of it to make sure it gets eaten before it starts growing its own organisms.
I have not been drinking water, instead, I have just been drinking tea.
(Still not buying carbonated drinks though!)
I have had 3 small diet Pepsi’s since February and that has only been due to me socialising at the local bars/pubs.
However, surprisingly, what I have not had this month, (at all) is… crisps. Something I was eating 2 bags of a day most days. My cupboard at my mums is stocked with 2 big variety packs of crisps – they remain untouched. I guess this is what I am doing this month!
Now, what about next month?
“Tetley make tea bags, make tea.”
“I will destroy your happiness if it is the last thing I do!”
I have decided to cut down on caffeine. I am not cutting it out completely. So many changes this year – I hope I can stick with them! I already feel a positive difference by doing REDJanuary. I wake up most mornings excited and ready to see how many steps I can achieve. 2019 started off well, let’s keep going.
The amount of caffeine in an 8-ounce cup of tea prepared with one Tetley Decaffeinated tea bag is approximately 4 milligrams (99.6% caffeine free). The amount of caffeine in a similarly brewed 8-ounce cup of regular tea is between 40 and 50 milligrams.
( http://www.tetleyharris.com/tea101/faqs.shtml )
For those both enjoying and dreading it, I send only good wishes.
May this year end on a positive and may 2019 be the year that you can say, “This is my year” and mean it.
( http://www.lovethispic.com/image/222462/merry-christmas-from-my-house-to-yours )