Some times things happen at the right time, without any time to prepare. Some times, these things are exactly what is needed…
Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.
( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome )
You always told me, “One day…”
Trying in vain to prepare me for these days.
In the early days, I notice your hat is still there – I make a mental note to ask if I can keep it,
But then in the blink of an eye – it is gone.
I take your collection of ties without waiting for a better time,
Folding them up neatly in a bag.
I think of the sadness in your eyes whenever you spoke of a family who was long since gone,
Always preparing me for, “One day…”
I never expected ‘one day’ would feel like this,
Never imagined I would understand so accurately that sadness I saw within you.
Weeks later, we are standing outside our house,
We are all here, waiting.
Liz announces the arrival of the hearse with a deafening, “He’s here.”
Nic and I lose composure, eyes dropping immediately to our feet.
I sit in the funeral car, with your daughters – the magnitude of that moment hits hard,
I am the only grandchild in the car and I wonder, does that not speak volumes?
The house is empty,
I am showing prospective buyers around.
They want to change everything – strip it bare and start anew,
I want to drag them out but instead, I just remove myself.
“One day, I won’t be here anymore. You’ll be telling your grandchildren about me like I am telling you about mine.”